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Sample Conversations

Scripts to help you set the stage for talking with your kids about sexual intercourse, sexuality, and relationships.

Read this script and see how one mother handles the topics of sex, teen pregnancy, and contraception. You don’t have to say the exact same things, but this script does give you some ideas for what a parent might say. And then you can decide the way you want to say things to your teen.

Scene: Tasha is 15 years old. She’s home from school and is watching TV when her mom gets home from work.

Mom: Hi hon, how was your day?

Tasha: Fine.

Mom: Have you started on your homework yet?

Tasha: Sort of…but this show is almost over….

Mom: OK, you can finish the show, but you really need to get started as soon as the show is over. I don’t want you staying up until midnight like you did last night.

Tasha: Fine.

Mom moves to put her stuff down and goes to get started on dinner in the kitchen. Tasha joins her mom in the kitchen.

Mom: What show were you watching anyway?

Tasha: Nothing really, just some reality TV show…

Mom: About what…

Tasha: I dunno, it was just this show about a girl who gets pregnant when she’s only 17. They follow her around for a while when she’s pregnant and then afterwards when she has the baby.

Mom: Sounds kind of interesting. What did you think of it? Was it realistic?

Tasha: Well, she definitely had a lot of problems. When she was pregnant she couldn’t do all the stuff that her friends were doing and had to miss out on things like going on the class trip at the end of the year which sucked for her.

Mom: What about after the baby arrived?

Tasha: Well she didn’t really have a good place to stay. Her parents were really mad at her so they kicked her out and she was staying at her boyfriend’s, but he was a real jerk. I can’t believe that her parents were so mean that they would actually kick her out of the house. I mean she made a mistake, but that seems beyond mean.

Mom: Well, I can tell you from a parent’s perspective maybe they think that’s the only way that she can learn a lesson. I don’t think I could ever kick you out of the house, but I certainly wouldn’t be very happy if you told me that you were pregnant.

Tasha: Yeah, I bet. I can’t imagine having a baby in high school.

Mom: It would be pretty tough, but I know that you’re a smarty pants and you must know that you don’t have to put yourself in that situation.

Tasha: Yeah, yeah, I know, Dad’s already told me that I just have to stay away from boys in general…

Mom: (laughing) I’m not sure that will always be the answer. Although I’m pretty sure that’s what your dad would prefer.

Tasha: (rolls her eyes)

Mom: What do you know about pregnancy and contraception?

Tasha: In health class, we watched some video about birth, which was way scary, but that seemed to be more about babies than how to avoid having a baby.

Mom: Well, I know that we haven’t talked about this too much, but I want to make sure that you know our rules and expectations for you. Most importantly, your dad and I want you to know that we think you are really special, and we expect that any friends in your life, including boys, will treat you the same way.

Tasha: Yeah, yeah.

Mom: Really, don’t let a boy pressure you into anything you don’t want to do, especially anything sexual. Having sex or doing sexual things won’t make you popular in the long run.

Tasha: Okay, okay, I get your point.

Mom: Tasha, I know that you get annoyed when we talk about this kind of stuff, but I’m sure that kids at your school are starting to talk about sex and stuff, and some are probably talking about having sex.

Tasha: Maybe…

Mom: Well, both your dad and I think that you should wait to have sex until you’re older. I’m not sure that we have a hard and fast age in mind, but it’s important that when you do consider having sex that you’re ready for it. Having sex is a big deal—we want you to be sure that you are absolutely ready and that it’s with someone that you really care about and love.

Tasha: (groaning) I can’t believe we’re talking about this, I don’t even have a boyfriend.

Mom: I know, but a lot of folks have sex with someone they wouldn’t describe as their boyfriend. Look, I just want to make sure that you know how we feel about this. Most importantly, I don’t want you to do anything that you’d regret. I mean, look at what happened to that girl on the TV show.

Tasha: Well, she was really dumb. I’d never do what she did.

Mom: Do you think that she thought she was being dumb?

Tasha: I guess not, I mean she said something about how she just didn’t think it could happen to her. But she never really talked about how it all happened.

Mom: Well, that’s really important. When you are ready to have sex, you need to make sure that you’re using condoms and it’s best if you’re also using another method of birth control.

Tasha: Yeah, yeah, we learned something about that in school…speaking of school, I think I might go start that homework now.

Mom: I know it’s a little weird and uncomfortable, but you can ask me any questions about all of this stuff if you have them. Believe it or not, I was in high school once too. I may not have all of the answers, but I’ll help you find them.

Tasha heads out of the room and mom continues making dinner.

Make sure you have the facts to answer your teen’s questions!

For more tips for talking with your teen, check out Conversation Tools.

Content created by Office of Adolescent Health
Content last reviewed on July 2, 2019